How I wrote the book; how long it took; why I wanted to tell the story; and what I'm hoping the book does for its audience
My writing background had been primarily academic, and I'd initially struggled with creating writing. But after participating in several weeklong "Freefall Writing" retreats in British Columbia led by Barbara Turner-Vesselago, I gradually learned to write from the higher self, free from the ego-censor. Through this method, I experienced powerful breakthroughs, and found its process very liberating and healing.
Some of the chapters in my book were adapted from pieces I'd written during those retreats that date back as early as 2007. But I didn't begin tackling my book project in earnest until 2015. In the meantime, I'd enrolled in a series of writing classes and residencies, as well as working with a writing coach.
I knew I had an important message to deliver, but this project seemed at times so enormous and overwhelming, and the process painstakingly slow and organic. It felt as if chiseling out a big marble stone little by little in order to uncover the shape of the story and zero in on its themes.
Through the process of writing this story, I came to learn that the symptoms I'd been experiencing all my life are in line with what is now called complex PTSD. This diagnosis has become more widely known in recent years, with neuroscience studies pointing out that prolonged adverse early childhood experience (emotional neglect in my case) can negatively affect the trajectory of an entire life by fundamentally altering the architecture of the developing brain (thus making the individual more susceptible to stress). With this realization, I felt validated for what I'd gone through as a child, and liberated to realize that my struggle wasn't my fault. This understanding helped to heal many of my childhood wounds and to find a way forward by practicing self-care and self-compassion.
I hope this book will help people with similar struggles feel less alone, and find hope and inspiration in their healing journeys.